MORE THAN A CHALKBOARD

October 28, 2007

“There the child grew strong in body and wise in spirit. 

And the grace of God was on him.”            Luke 2:40, The Message

            Ann Lamott, speaking about teaching her Sunday School class writes: “I sat on the couch and glanced slowly around in a goofy, menacing way, and then said, ‘Is anyone here wearing a blue sweatshirt with Pokemon on it?’  The four-year-old looked down at his chest, astonished to discover that he matched this description – like, what are the odds?  He raised his hand.  ‘Come over here to the couch,’ I said.  ‘You are so loved, and so chosen.’  He clutched at himself like a beauty pageant finalist.  Then I asked if anyone that day was wearing green socks with brown shoes, a Giants cap, an argyle vest?  Each of them turned out to be loved and chosen, which does not happen so often… My Jesuit friend once told me that this is a good exercise, because in truth, everyone is loved and chosen… God loves them, because God loves.”*

            Today we are celebrating The Children’s Sabbath, a day set aside in churches all around our nation when we recognize our responsibility to care for and about God’s children  whether they live in our home, across the street, on the other side of the country, or around the world.  It is a day when we give thanks to God for the gift of children in our lives and recommit ourselves to be advocates for children everywhere.  Today, we celebrate that each and every child is chosen and loved by God.

            Despite what some of us might have learned in Sunday School, the New Testament tells us almost nothing about Jesus’ childhood.  Two Gospels – Mark and John – include no mention of Jesus as a child.  Matthew speaks only of the family’s escape to Egypt and eventual return to Israel but no specific mention is made of Jesus growing into adulthood.  It is only in Luke’s Gospel that we are given the slightest glimpse of what his life might have been like.  Luke tells us two stories…the story when Jesus was presented for circumcision and naming as an infant and the story of his encounter with the teachers in the temple in Jerusalem when he was twelve years old. Other then these two accounts all that is recorded is the short passage we just heard – two sentences covering his entire childhood – “the child grew strong in body and wise in spirit.  And the grace of God was on him.”

            How do we insure that children everywhere have the same chance to grow strong in body and wise in spirit?   How do we help every child know God’s grace?

            I remember a conversation I had with some older, wiser, more experienced mothers when our son, Joel was newborn.  Talking about some research they had read somewhere about how and why children succeed in school, they told me that researchers had discovered that there was just one thing that every successful child had in common and if John and I wanted Joel to succeed in life we needed to make sure that he had one.  The one thing every child needed was a chalkboard.  Their enthusiasm and their certainty made me ready to run right out and buy our one-month old son a full-size chalkboard complete with chalk of every color in the rainbow!   Looking back, almost twenty-nine years later, I realize how naïve I was! 

            But what do children really need to succeed in life?  If we can’t find a step-by-step analysis of Jesus’ childhood in the Bible, where can we go for good, faith-based suggestions? According to a book we are using in the parenting class that John is leading – What Kids Need to Succeed – “most adults today are deeply concerned about young people.  We’re worried about our own kids, our neighbor’s kids, the students in our classrooms, the youth in our congregations, and kids in general.”  Asking the questions “Why do some kids grow up with ease while others struggle?  Why do some kids get involved in dangerous activities, while others spend their time contributing to society?  Why do some youth ‘beat the odds’ in difficult situations, while others get trapped?” the researchers discovered some real answers. They identified “40 developmental assets – good things every young person needs in his or her life.”**  Guess  what, no chalkboard!  Apparently, my friends were wrong.  it takes more than a chalkboard for kids to mature into healthy, loving, balanced, contributing, faithful adults!

Acknowledging that there are probably dozens of other developmental assets – the building blocks for human development – the Search Institute concentrated on the 20 external and 20 internal assets that you have listed on the long half-sheet in your worship folder.  The number one, underlying assumption of all of these assets is that “what kids really need are adults who care”** – adults at home, at school, at church, and in the community.  The research shows that the more developmental assets a child has, the fewer behavior problems they will have.  More assets mean more positive behavior.

            “The child grew strong in body and wise in spirit.  And the grace of God was on him.”    How do we insure that children everywhere have the same chance to grow strong in body and wise in spirit? 

            To help answer this question, I want to quickly highlight just a few ideas, speaking about one developmental asset in each of the 8 main categories.  What kids need are adults who care.  Everyone of us here can all do our part in helping to raise children who are healthy in body, mind and spirit.

1. Kids need to feel loved and supported in their family.  64% of the 100,000 youth surveyed said they have this asset in their lives.  Parents are encouraged to “give more hugs and verbal reinforcement.  Don’t assume that your kids know how much you love them.  Tell them. Let your love show in the way you look at them, the words you say, your tone of voice, and your body language.”  Congregations are encouraged to “sponsor celebrations of children and families…” and “… regularly offer parent education as a part of the congregation’s educational programs.”**

2. Kids need to be involved in service to others.  50% of the youth surveyed report that they serve in the community one or more hours per week.  Parents are encouraged to “be a role model for your children by serving others… Brainstorm ten or more ways your family can serve others.  Vote on one to do, pick a date, and do it.”   Congregations are encouraged to “Make service a core value in your congregation… create intergenerational service projects – opportunities for adults and kids to work together.”**

3. It is critical for kids to have adult role models. Sadly, only 27% of the youth surveyed said that they have parents and other adults in their lives who model positive, responsible behavior.  Parents are encouraged to “Always remember that you are your child’s most important role model… talk with your children about adults they know who are positive role models” finding “ways to build and strengthen those relationships.”  Congregations are challenged to “encourage adults to model the kinds of behavior [we] expect from young people” providing “adult mentors for youth.”**

4. Kids should be involved in a religious community.  Surprisingly, 64%  of youth in the survey reported spending one or more hours each week in religious services or participating in spiritual activities.  Parents should “encourage active involvement in religious activities by modeling active involvement” incorporating “faith and spirituality into your daily life.”  Congregations are challenged to “develop strategies  for [our] youth program that address the concerns, needs, interests and issues of young people in [our] congregation” emphasizing “programming that keeps youth involved throughout high school.”**

5. Children should be motivated to achieve.  63% of youth reported that they are motivated to do well in school.  Parents must “clearly communicate to your children that you value learning – that you think school is important, and you want and expect them to take it seriously.”  Congregations must “affirm kids who ask tough questions” helping “young people to see, appreciate, and think about the complexities in faith, theology, and ethics.”**

6. We must encourage youth to value equality and social justice. 45% of kids place high value on promoting equality and reducing hunger and poverty.  Families should “discuss your views about equality and social justice” choosing “one cause to follow and help.”  Congregations are challenged to “address issues of equality and social justice” through “trips, speakers, service projects” making “world issues personally relevant to youth.”**

7. Healthy kids exhibit interpersonal competence.  43% of the youth surveyed reported having  empathy, sensitivity, and friendship skills.  Parents are encouraged to “practice interpersonal skills with your child” talking “with them about how their behavior affects others.  Congregations are called on to “model empathy and sensitivity toward each other, [our] community, and the world.”**

8. Finally, healthy kids have positive self esteem.  47% of the youth in the survey feels good about themselves.  Parents are encouraged to “celebrate each child’s uniqueness” finding “something special to value and affirm” about each child.  Congregations are challenged to “accept and affirm all young people for who they are” recognizing and affirming their “individual talents, abilities, and accomplishments.”**

     The research shows that no child will have all 40 assets.  No parent can insure all 40 assets.  But we are in this together.  When parents bring a child to be baptized, we make a pledge to that child and those parents to help them grow strong in body and wise in spirit.  Children need adults who care.  We can be those adults.

            Anne Lamott – best-selling author, lecturer, and Sunday School teacher of four-year-olds – readily acknowledges that her teen-age son, Sam hates to go to church.  She writes, “Then why do I make him go?  Because I want him to.  We live in bewildering, drastic times, and a little spiritual guidance never hurt anyone.  I think it’s a fair compromise that every other week he has to come to the place that has been a tap for me: I want him to see the people who loved me when I felt the most unlovable, who have loved him since I first told them that I was pregnant, even though he might not want to be with them.  I want him to see their faces.  He gets the most valuable things I know through osmosis."***

Chalkboards were never the answer and we can’t leave everything to osmosis.  As parents and grandparents, uncles and aunts, neighbors and church members, mentors and friends… as people of faith… we must all do our part in helping to raise children who are healthy in body, mind and spirit.  Through our actions, through our words, through our support, through our commitment to children, they will come to know for themselves… to believe for themselves… that they are “so loved and so chosen” – not only by us but also by God. 

*From Grace Eventually by Ann Lamott, page 29

**From What Kids Need to Succeed by Peter L. Benson, Judy Galbraith, and Pamela Espeland, selected pages throughout the book

***From Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott, page 195