Lisa Young

Message from 6-3-07

FUMC. Eugene, OR

            So once again it is  graduation -- a time which sends me on a walk down memory lane, but also makes me anticipate the future as I admire the next generation standing before us. Also, for some reason, this time of  year always makes my thoughts gravitate towards those things which for me are bedrock --things that I KNOW at the core of my soul to be true.  My Hawaiian dream date, Wes Young, also my husband of 31 years, gave me a book for Christmas called “This I Believe” – a compilation of short essays written by both ordinary and famous people.  Some writings are thoughtful, some humorous, some serious, but all are written about situations or events that have been pivotal in shaping the life or perspective of each author—something about which the writer could say “This I Believe”.  Included in the book are some of the essays originally aired on the Edward R. Murrow radio program of the same name.  Last month, our Covenant group decided to try our hand at writing versions of our own.  So when casting about for what on earth I could possibly say on a Lay Sunday under the scrutiny of the next generation, I thought perhaps that I would share my attempt to put into words a personal “This I Believe”.

Thoughts on Life, Lack of Motivation, and a Good Laugh

It was one of those days.  Nothing seemed to be going right.  I sat down at the computer and in half-hearted fashion began to browse the Internet for something to renew my spirits. Wait, here it was, the website my friend had bookmarked:   www.despair.com.  What was THAT cheerful-sounding website about?  I vaguely remembered that my friend had informed me that this website was a guaranteed mood enhancer. Although still dubious, I went ahead and clicked on it.  The website description immediately jumped out at me: “Motivational Products for Pessimists, Underachievers, and the Chronically Unsuccessful”.  Well, so far I remained uninspired, but I gave another click on a tab which was labeled CUSTOMER DISSERVICE, and a screen appeared showing a disgruntled employee next to the words “We’re not satisfied until you’re not satisfied.”

 Was this for real?  In spite of myself, I chuckled.  My curiosity was finally piqued, and I explored the site still further and found that customer opinions were directed to their suggestion box, which was (of course) none other than a shredder.  What on earth could these guys be selling?  A tab marked STORE brought me to the heart of the site   Aha!  Now I understood.

  These creative entrepreneurs were clearly reacting to the huge motivational card and poster industry.  And having a great time doing so!  I could choose to purchase from a wide selection of “demotivator” cards such as one entitled “Limitations”, which depicted a penguin flapping its wings, followed by the words “Until you spread your wings, you’ll have no idea how far you can walk”.

  Another had a silouette of a Mayan temple below which was penned “SACRIFICE:  All we ask here is that you give us your heart”.

 Still another had a close-up of an extended hand followed by the words “Compromise:  Let’s agree to respect each other’s views no matter how wrong yours may be”. 

Cynical?  Perhaps.  Okay, I admit, it is definitely cynical.  But my friend was right-- for me at that moment, these were laugh-out-loud funny.  It suddenly occurred to me that I had a paradox here; tidbits like these do more than just bring a smile to my face; they actually renew my faith in the future. Why? Because deep down, I believe that things that make people smile also help them know that life is worth living, and give them an even bigger reason for trying hard to make life better.  Nothing is so therapeutic as a good laugh.

I am truly inspired by people who are able to laugh at themselves and at the foibles and inconsistencies of the world.  They recognize that our earth is inhabited by people of many persuasions – so it is not too surprising that when we look around we see people who have what seem to us to be what I’ll call “personality quirks” – idiosyncrasies so far removed from what our personal definition of “normal” is that they inevitably make us laugh.  But through our smiles, we recognize that we and our fellow earth dwellers are all imperfect mortals coping with our lives in the best ways we know how.  Once I see that my less-than-perfect traits are not unique to me, oddly enough, I am encouraged to keep trying.  Perhaps that is why I so appreciate Jane Austen’s writings — especially those characters (or really caricatures) in her works through which she reveals her trademark satirical commentary on the customs and people of her times.  Who can forget pride and prejudice’s wealthy and overbearing Lady Catherine de Bourgh with her haughty pronouncement to her dinner guests, when she says…

“I must have my share in the conversation if you are speaking of music.  There are few people in England who have more true enjoyment of music as myself, or a better natural taste.  If I had ever learnt, I should have been a great proficient”. 

Okay – I admit Lady Catherine is a bit over the top – an Austen “extremist”.  She takes herself very seriously.  Today, we live in an age of extremism in religion, politics, or really on any topic you can name.   Like Lady Catherine, modern day extremists also communicate their views and live their lives in deadly serious fashion.  And this often leads to serious consequences. If I am honest with myself, I realize that I, too, have felt those extremist tendencies—and I suspect others of you have as well.  Those times when your mind is saying  “Of course my way is not only the best way, it is the only way”.  A good dose of Jane Austen’s humor is my personal antidote --  it tempers my tendencies toward extremism and helps to prevent me from inadvertently becoming a Lady Catherine.

“But wait a second,” you are thinking.  “Aren’t life and religion serious business?”  Well you might ask. I wondered that myself.  In fact, British mathematician and philosopher Alfred North Whitehead once said that "the total absence of humor from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all of literature."  But there are many scholars who disagree – pointing out that when examined in historical context, both the Old and New Testament have numerous examples of sarcasm, witty wordplay, irony, and humorous story-telling.  It is true that the abundant humor scholars recognize in the parables of Jesus probably wouldn’t have modern readers rolling in the aisles. Apparently, we wouldn’t “get it”.  But when Jesus first used these stories as teaching devices, many of these Biblical experts feel that He deliberately included the humorous element of surprise in them, expecting the shock value to result in dropped jaws and rolled eyes, if not outright nervous laughter.  And also, scholars who study the scriptures in their untranslated forms point out that wordplay examples found throughout the Bible would keep Will Shortz occupied for centuries, if only he could read the original Hebrew.  Stories from generations of the people of God when seen in this light, give me the feeling that humor has helped people cope with life since the beginning of time.  I do realize that humor can’t solve all our problems —such a notion is far too simplistic.  Life is full of weighty situations and issues that need our care and concern.  But in some small way, for me, reading Dave Barry or goofy limericks, or watching outlandish films like “Best in Show”, or “Airplane”, or “Princess Bride” or (to my surprise) even “Napoleon Dynamite”  contrive to brighten my day.  I can’t help thinking that for others, finding humor from those things which tickle their fancy will make them feel better, and maybe they’ll spread their cheer to still more people—which with any luck will create a ripple effect that might actually make a difference in ways we never know.

Today our congregation celebrates the efforts of our special high school seniors. These young people have reached a milestone that we all recognize. For each there is a mysterious bend in the road and a future that is full of possibilities.  For those of us in this room whose high school graduations are but a dim memory, there are many who have much to be grateful for, having been given full lives, rich with family, friends, challenged by interesting careers and sprinkled with numerous happy memories –- I have been blessed by all of these and more.  Many have also hit roadblocks -- life-changing situations over which they have no control, that present them with unanticipated personal challenges. My life has been no exception – with a couple of unexpected road slowdowns, at least.  During my challenging times, I’ve been told by a rather wise person who also happens to be my spouse, that things are never as bad as they seem or as good as they seem. Through personal experience, I’ve found this to be generally true, largely because there seem to be an infinite number of ways to poke fun at myself and at the situations around me.  If I do something I deem to be not up to the standards I have set for myself, or do something silly, or inevitably, do something downright idiotic, I find that often humor helps me regain some perspective.  Gentle self-deprecation, not surprisingly, keeps me permanently humble and also keeps me going.

 I have to admit, it isn’t always easy to find ways to laugh when the circumstances seem bleak and the future dim.  Fortunately, over time, I have come to realize that I don’t exist in a void.  I know at some deep visceral level that I am not alone.  That deep level is where I have found the spirit of God.  And this spirit has been revealed to me through special relationships with many, many people that I have been lucky enough to be connected with throughout my life.  Although they have flaws just as I do, and are encumbered with even more worries  and hardships, they remain examples for me of humble, caring individuals, seeking justice, distributing kindness, love.  They go out of their way to listen willingly to the points of views of others.  They are not judgmental. They quietly provide an incredible support network for those around them who are hurting. 

So after puzzling over the paradox of how on earth I could find inspiration and motivation from a “demotivators” website, I suddenly had an epiphany.  All the amazing role models in my life past and present share another trait – one that I strive to emulate – they have the ability to laugh at the world, and at themselves.  In our present times of horror, despair, disease, and myriad tragedies with no obvious solution, it is these people who give me the courage to get up every morning and try to put one foot in front of another. You, my friends, have been and will continue to be just such people, -- for me, and for those near and dear to you.  Your presence in my life and in the lives of your friends and families has been and will continue to be an incredible blessing.  This I believe.

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Blessings for all our graduates. Here is my demotivator graduation wish for you all:

ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU ARE UNIQUE.  JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.