My Messy House

March 18, 2007

Count yourself lucky – God holds nothing against you

 and  you are holding nothing back from God.     Psalm 32:2, The Message

            This morning I am going to talk about confession.  Confession is a part of our Lenten journey.  But one truth of our life together as United Methodist Christians living in Eugene, Oregon in 2007 is that we aren’t big on confession.  We have decided that confession makes us feel bad about ourselves and people won’t come to church if there is a chance that they might feel bad!   We forget that traditionally, prayers of confession are followed by words of assurance, reminding us of God’s grace.  Traditionally, we have spent time in prayer telling God what we have done wrong and then hoping that words of grace will follow.  This morning, I want to reverse the order. 

So, before we spend some time with confession, let me offer some words of assurance and grace that are at the heart of our faith in Christ.  Before we think about the ways we have fallen short of our God-given potential, let’s remember that “God has to love us.  That’s God’s job!” (Ann Lamott)  Before we make a list of those things that we are doing that keep us separated from God, let’s remember that “God loves us exactly the way we are and God loves us too much to let us stay the way we are.” (Ann Lamott)  Before we take an honest look at the mistakes we have made, let’s remember that “God will find us and bless us, even when we feel most alone… God will find a way to let us know that God is with us in this place, wherever we are, however far we think we’ve run. (Kathleen Norris)  And before we get up and walk out the door because we have no desire to feel bad about ourselves this morning, let’s remember that “God’s grace has us covered, coming and going.”  With God’s grace and because of God’s love, we are able to “come clean” about our lives.

In The Message, Eugene Peterson gives voice to Psalm 32 that was just read (chanted) like this:

            Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be –

you get a fresh start, your slate’s wiped clean.

Count yourself lucky – God holds nothing against you

                                    and you’re holding nothing back from God.

When I kept it all inside, my bones turned to powder,

                                    My words became daylong groans…

Then I let it all out; I said,

            “I’ll make a clean breast of my failures to God.”

Suddenly the pressure was gone – my guilt dissolved,

            my sin disappeared.

            I doubt that very many of us feel happy-go-lucky when it comes to confession.  I think most of us would rather hide our mistakes – our sin – rather then come clean with our actions.  Think about it, how many of us readily raise our hands and admit to our mistakes in front of God and everybody?  We may take responsibility for our actions but, if those actions have been considered wrong or hurtful or negative in anyway, we probably don’t go publicizing it to the world.  We would just as soon that no one, especially God, would ever know that we have done those wrong, hurtful, negative things.  But as theologian Frederick Buechner reminds us, “To confess [our] sins to God is not to tell [God] anything [God] doesn’t already know.  Until [we] confess them however, they are an abyss between [us].  When [we] confess them, they become the bridge.”  (Wishful Thinking, page 15)

            I read recently of a young boy who wrote poetry as a way of dealing with some of the struggle of his young life.  In one poem, called “The Monster Who Was Sorry,” the boy begins by admitting that he hates it when his father yells at him.  In the poem he offers that his response to his father’s yelling is to throw his sister down the stairs, and then wreck his room and his house and finally wreck the whole town.  The poem concludes with these words, “Then I sit in my messy house and say to myself, ‘I shouldn’t have done all that.’” 

            I think one of the truths of our lives is that we all live in messy houses.  Oh sure, there might not be a speck of dust in our actual wood-and-sheet-rock homes.  There might not be any dirty dishes in the sink.  There might not be any piles of things that need to be sorted through and put away the next time it rains.  Everything might be picture-perfect and ready for company, but we still live in messy houses.  Our hearts are cluttered with all the things that we do and think and say and feel that keep us separated from God.  We can all say to ourselves, “I shouldn’t have done that.” 

            So why not clean up?  Why not start making our hearts into places where God might like to visit and stay and live? 

            In your worship folder this morning you received at small piece of paper.  If it isn’t there, look around on the pew or the floor nearby and maybe you will find it.  There are extra pieces of this paper on the tables in the front and back of the sanctuary.  You will need a piece of this particular paper because this is special paper.  It dissolves in water.  In the next few moments, we will all have a chance to start the process of cleaning up our messy houses by writing a few our “I shouldn’t have done that’s” on this magic paper.

It is also a small piece of paper.  It is not necessary for us to make a long list.  But it is necessary to start this process of confession.  We all make mistakes, large and small.  We all do things we shouldn’t do.  We all say things we shouldn’t say.  We all think things we shouldn’t think.  Thank God that our thoughts aren’t suspended cartoon-style above our heads for the world to see!  We can all write something on this small piece of paper that we have done wrong. 

            So take a moment and write a word or two on the paper.  What is one thing you need to confess to God about how you are living and being in your life?  What are you seeking forgiveness for today?   

            In a moment, we will have the opportunity to once again gather around the tables in the front and the back of the sanctuary and receive again symbols of our Lenten practices. You will find there the ashes of Ash Wednesday.  You can mark your forehead or the back of your hand with the symbol of the Cross making a commitment to live as one who bears Christ’s name.  You will find there booklets inviting you to try on fasting at some point during this season… going without to leave room for God.  You will find on the tables the bread of life and the cup of forgiveness that are central to our faith. Take and eat in remembrance of Christ’s love.  You find there small envelopes filled with seeds that you can take home and plant today and then you can wait patiently for your life to be blessed with the fragrance of God’s grace.  Finally, you will find several bowls of water where you can place your confessions and watch as they dissolve away.  Confession is good for the soul.

So take another moment if you need it to write a word or two on this piece of paper.  What needs cleaning up in your messy house so it will become a place where God might like to live?                     

            Ann Lamott, author and wacky, worldly theologian, writes of attending worship during a time in her life when she was struggling to love as Christ calls us to love.  Her “I shouldn’t have done that” list was growing longer.  Speaking about the pastor’s message she writes:  “It was clear that Veronica was speaking directly to me.  She said that Christians have a very bad reputation in the world, and we have earned it, with our hate and self-righteousness.  We speak in reverent terms of grace, justice, equality, mercy, and then we despise people who are also created in God’s image….”  She continues, “This drives me crazy, that God seems to have no taste, and no standards.  Yet on most days, this is what gives some of us hope.  I sat there in church, working through this in my mind… and then Veronica said one of the most stunning things I have ever heard her say: ‘When some is acting butt-ugly, God loves them just the same as God loves the innocent.  They are still just as loved by God.’”   Lamott concludes her thoughts with a disclaimer about getting in trouble with her mother for saying “butt” in church but – and this but is with one “t” –  we get the point. 

When it comes to living as the people that God has created us to be, we all fall short.  But today we hear again the words of the psalmist and as we enter into this time of confession, we count ourselves lucky.  We are lucky because we get a fresh start  Our slate’s wiped clean.  We count ourselves lucky because God holds nothing against us and we are holding nothing back from God.  We are lucky because when we are acting ugly, God loves us just the same.  We are lucky because God’s grace has us covered, coming and going.